Compassion is King
Yesterday, my husband and I said goodbye to our loving and faithful companion of the last nine years, King. This morning I facilitated a virtual leadership class filled with interesting insights and conversations.
Before diving into this juxtaposition of feelings and actions, I want to introduce you to King. When we went to the shelter to adopt him, we had in mind “a small dog who doesn’t shed.” Fate had other plans. As you can see, we returned home with a giant, hairy, orange ball of devotion. His unruly mane brought forth naming ideas like “Joe Dirt” and “Fraggle” and we landed on King – a perfect moniker for the four-legged leader of our little pack. After his initial shock and wonder of being allowed in the house, on the dog bed and showered with affection, he became our loyal and constant guardian. He always stayed close– even when camping – and positioned himself between us and the door. King was a good boy who got me through some of the toughest times in my life. Good boy, King.
What does that have to do with compassion? How can I simply lock up my feelings and move on with work the next day? It could be a way of dealing with grief – throwing myself into work to distract from the pain – or it could be a bit of resilience. We have heard a lot about resilience in the past two years – as the global pandemic brought an almost insurmountable quantity of change to our workplaces around the world. Resilience defined is “the ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune, adversity or change.” Building resilience, though helpful, takes a lot of time, effort, and energy. So, what can we do to support one another in the meantime?
When we arrive at work – either in person or virtually – we don’t know what each person is carrying with them. Is it sorrow? Did their dog pass away yesterday? Is a family member ill? Have they fallen on financial difficulties? Is it joy? Did their child win a prestigious award? Did they triumph in a sporting event? Did they just welcome their first grandchild? We all have experiences that we carry with us. Sometimes neatly packed in a bag and often, spilling over the top. After reading and reflection on experiences, I’d like to offer some ideas on how we can support each other in the workplace.
Be present – Engage in the present moment with each person you encounter throughout the day; try to eliminate distractions. When you notice something is not right, bring it up and offer to talk about it. When focused only on tasks, it’s hard to recognize a person in need.
Be encouraging – Encourage and motivate your team and co-workers by focusing on their strengths. Empower them with knowledge and tools to be successful. Acknowledge accomplishments – even small wins – with a kind word or smile. You never know what an impact simple kindness can have.
Be curious – Show a genuine interest in team members’ lives – try to understand what they are thinking and feeling. Listen actively to what they say and how they communicate. Ask simple questions like “How are you doing?” or “How can I help?” Use your eyes and ears to recognize body language and tone, in addition to words.
Be compassionate – Compassion comes from the Latin word meaning “co-suffering.” It is recognizing that someone is struggling, being able to picture ourselves in their shoes and wanting to help. It is, according to Madhuleena Roy Chowdhury, essentially “empathy in action.”
Be vulnerable – Being authentic and transparent with your team members goes a long way in building a sense of belonging. Share your interests, experiences, ideas, struggles and failures. In the words of author Brené Brown, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”
This brings us back to King. As we wrapped up our Crucial Conversations workshop this morning, one of the leaders in class asked me about King. She remembered from a previous session that he was sick. She was present, she was curious, she was listening. I risked a bit of vulnerability and shared the news. I received support from the group, and a follow up email from the leader with both words of condolence and encouragement – stating the positive impact the courses have had on her thus far. It lifted my heart just a bit.
What other benefits can we gain with these actions? Research shows that being present, encouraging, curious, compassionate, and vulnerable can make a substantial difference in building trust across the team. Fostering an environment in which team member support one another helps create a sense of purpose and belonging. A safe environment in which people can bring their whole selves to work – full baggage and all - can increase teamwork, innovation, collaboration, and even happiness. This can reduce stress, increase engagement, and heighten productivity. If this sounds like a great team environment, lean into compassion. Compassion is King.