Be True to You (and other life lessons from Mom)
My mom and dear friend recently passed away peacefully after 84 well-lived years. As I sit down to write through blurred tears, I can’t help but smile with memories playing through my head. All of the kind, accomplished, and authentic parts of me can be attributed, in part, to her. And for that, I am eternally grateful. She taught me, through words and actions, lessons to live and work by. I hope these teachings spur a bit of inspiration in you when you welcome tomorrow as well:
Never stop learning. Long before Carol Dweck penned her famous Growth Mindset book, my mom instilled the love of learning in kids and adults alike. As the first to graduate college in her family, and teacher by trade, her zest for knowledge was contagious and exciting. Books were ever present and monumental. We learned about animals, math, history, and science and traveled the world via National Geographic. This thirst for information and experiences lives on. Try out a new hobby, test a new role, dive into the latest technology. Only by learning can we grow. Only by growing can we thrive.
Create fun and meaningful things. As an elementary teacher and entrepreneur at heart, with three young kids at home, Mom founded a pre-school called Learn and Play. Fledgling minds learned skills to succeed in elementary school, while finger painting with pudding and singing about anatomy. Later, in finance, she created new processes, loyal customers, and strong and trusting teams. Whether it be an innovative project at work, an imaginative piece of art, or a business to help others succeed, create things that will make a difference to yourself and others. (And keep singing!)
Practice kindness and give generously. When Thanksgiving would arrive in our household, we never knew who might show up at the table. Mom frequently invited friends of ours with no place to go, to join us for a meal. I took this to heart. You never know the impact a small kindness in your community or workplace can make. Have you smiled and said hello to a stranger? Can you spare a lunch hour with a new employee? Do you have time to mentor someone eager to learn? Whether it be time, knowledge, or philanthropy, I always get back much more than I give and feel grateful for the opportunity.
Trade “what ifs” for “yes, ands.” Mom instilled a sense of adventure with her actions. Start a new business as a woman in the 70’s? Yes. Dive into a brand-new career? Yes. Single-handedly repo a motorcycle? Yes (no joke). Drive across country with no one but a toy poodle as copilot? Of course. Consider those things you are “what iffing” today. Want to apply for a new role? Hope to take that long-awaited trip? Itching to practice a new language? Let’s all take a leap and embrace the next “yes” – because if not now, when?
Be true. Be you. This lesson was a long time in the making for Mom (and, admittedly, still in progress for me). As someone concerned about pleasing others, it is a challenge to stop worrying and start living your authentic life. Mom lived many years for others as “wife,” “mother,” “teacher,” and “manager.” In the latter part of her life, she learned that she was more than her job, her possessions, or the roles she played. When she finally started saying “no” to those things that did not serve her values and “yes” to those things that mattered, she found her true voice, cultivated meaningful relationships, and discovered the satisfaction of a life well-lived.
(In memory of Evalyn Sherwood, 1939-2023)