To Send or Not to Send? The Holiday Card Conundrum

As 2022 wound down, I asked myself if I wanted to send the traditional holiday cards to friends, family, and work acquaintances. It has been a solid annual tradition for me since college – one I picked up from my own sweet mom. I enjoy reaching out across the miles to connect with people I have not seen or heard from for the entire year – yes, I’m thinking about you, even if we don’t see each other. You are important and you’re in my heart. I look forward to writing the classic holiday letter, catching everyone up, often times crafted in rhyming verse, laced with warm regards for the year ahead.

2022 was tough for various reasons and I had a hard time gathering the mental energy to send cards. I wasn’t feeling particularly cheerful and after all, now that most of us are connected with social media, we see photos of kids growing up, pets exhibiting cuteness, and updates on all life happenings – big and small. Why bother with cards, and letters, and crossed-out addresses anyway? This trend is accelerating - with a 38.7% drop in greeting card sales in the US between 2007 and 2020 (soocial.com). Statistics squarely in my corner, I decided to forgo the paper tradition and reach out electronically instead. Perfect solution.

Then the guilt set in.

I started to receive cards, letters, and photos from all across the US, each one bringing a smile, a laugh and often spurring a "Wow, he got so big!" I reflected on my mixed feelings about why cards seem important after all; and discovered that the feelings that accompany the cards apply to so many other things at work and at home. Here are a few.

Human Connection – As pack animals, humans crave social connection, often times through ritual and tradition. Most people buy greeting cards to make others feel good. According to Matthew Lieberman, author of Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect, “It’s hard to find meaning in what we do if, at some level, it doesn’t help someone else or make someone happier.” Of course, that’s what’s meaningful beyond the colorful paper and well wishes – feeling joy in making others smile.

The Effort of Caring – I recently read an article by Isaac Prince who asserts that effort is the most important value. The energy spent sending 80+ holiday cards to friends and family far and wide is great. Yes, and, the payoff is greater. I recognize the time invested by all who sent me cards this year and appreciate it. As Denis Waitley says, “There is a direct relationship between joy and effort. The joy of success is in ratio to the amount of effort expended to achieve it.” I hope to never underestimate or underappreciate that effort.

Spanning Generations – Holiday card traditions started in 1843 and despite the steady decline, still bring smiles to young and old. My octogenarian aunts and uncles hold their holiday cards dear, and I’ve seen the little ones giggling and pointing at the family photos plastered across their refrigerators through December. Even my 20-something nephews with a passion for the environment can’t help but grin when a card comes from “gram.” In these times when we’re searching for ways to bridge the generational gap – could it be as easy as a heartfelt card from a friend or colleague?

Oh, So Touching – Literally – As an expert in learning styles and brain science enthusiast, I recognize that many people are tactile in nature – they love to touch, feel, and do. And benefit from it! Our favorite memories are often tied to our senses – the smell of hot apple cider on a cold night, or a holiday song you memorized the lyrics to with a sibling. Don’t forget the plastic mailing bubbles – who can resist the urge to pop them? I see this often in workplace training; in a 2021 survey of 600 tech professionals, 81 percent of engineers reported that tactile learning helps them solidify their skills. In a parallel touching truth (soocial.com), 80 percent of consumers say that social media can’t replace greeting cards!

So next time you consider sending a card – during the holidays - or for another momentous occasion, consider the benefits to you and the recipient.

In a perfect holiday twist, right up there with a Hallmark movie, although I didn’t send cards this year, my mom asked me to help her purchase her cards, address them, and apply stamps to each and every envelope.  So, in a way, I did send cards - and delighted in the joy she felt spreading love to others via USPS. Happy holidays!